


In Oh So Many Ways

by Telesilla



Category: Baseball RPF, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Magic, Baseball, Bodyswap, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Dark, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, M/M, Meet the Family, Request Meme, San Francisco Giants, Sex Pollen, So many tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 13:42:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twelve short cliche trope ficlets about Buster Posey and John Sheppard. Because of reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Life in Atlantis -- First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Several of these are connected and some of them aren't, but I decided to do the whole thing as a chaptered fic. The first chapter is taken from "The Ones Where." The list of tropes called for in the meme are in the end notes. Also? Hedgerose's fault.

"Lieutenant Gerald D. Posey, USMC," Colonel Sheppard says. "Prefers the nickname Buster. Stationed in Afghanistan three weeks ago, recruited by the SGC two weeks ago and now in another galaxy. Is your head spinning yet?"

Sheppard's not like any commanding officer Buster's ever had. It's not that he's Air Force, although that hair's going to take some getting used to; it's not the way he slumps in his chair like he doesn't have a spine. It's not even the way his eyes flickered over Buster when Buster reported to his office. Buster's gotten that from commanding officers before.

It's the way he's so casual, like being in another fucking galaxy, like discovering you have alien genes, is no big deal. It's oddly reassuring, so Buster's honest when he answers the question.

"A little, Sir."

Sheppard nods, like Buster's passed some kind of test.

"Think you can handle it?"

"I hope so, Sir."

Sheppard leans forward and holds out his hand. His grip is firm and he's smirking a little. "Welcome to Atlantis, Buster."

Later, Buster wonders if that tingle he felt in his stomach when they shook hands has something to do with the gene. He's pretty sure it doesn't.


	2. Life in Atlantis -- First Kiss

They're sparring at night because while John doesn't mind fighting Marines, Buster's really good and John would rather not be utterly humiliated in front of Buster's guys. So it's not all that uncommon or even weird when, even though John's got a knife and Buster doesn't, John ends up with his back against the wall. What's weird is the way Buster leans in and kisses him, his blue eyes wide with something a lot like shock.

"Fuck fuck fuck...that was a fucking stupid idea," Buster mutters as he pulls back. "God, I'm so sorry, Sir."

"Yeah," John says as he grabs the collar of Buster's damp t-shirt. "It's a fucking terrible idea," he adds, just before pulling Buster in for another kiss.

Buster closes his eyes this time.


	3. Life in Atlantis -- Bodyswap

"Jesus Christ. I have no ass whatsoever." John says as they stare at each other.

"My thighs are really that big?" Buster mutters. "No wonder I have a hard time buying jeans; maybe I do too many squats."

"I like the hair though." John keeps running a hand over the top of his head. "It's bristly."

"You want me to leave you alone with my hair?" Buster can't help grinning; John loves playing with Buster's hair. What there is of it.

"Nah." John shakes his head. He keeps staring at Buster like he's waiting for something."Okay fine, I'll say it. You wanna?"

"What, with myself? I mean with you in my body? Isn't that a little...weird?"

Buster watches as his own body walks across the room toward him, only John not walking. It's more like....

"Can you not... _slink_ like that?"

John pauses and crosses his arms across his chest. "You keep my shoulders that straight and you'll have a tension headache in no time." And it's true; Buster's shoulders already hurt a little.

"C'mon," John continues and his sort of dorky, sort of sexy smirk looks really fucking weird on Buster's face. "It's a perfect chance for you to see what you look like when I fuck you."

Buster looks at him for a long moment, kind of wishing John didn't know about his mirror kink and how much Buster loves to watch John fucking him. "Well," he finally says. "When you put it that way...."


	4. Life in Atlantis -- Fake Dating

Buster's heard about this kind of thing happening, but actually having to pair up in public with your commanding officer is weird, even if he is your...even if you're fucking him in private. John and McKay are buddies, why don't they do it? But then again that would leave Buster paired with Teyla and Buster's kind of scared of her--where "kind of" is actually "a whole lot." But it's just a banquet, right? Yeah, no, because it turns out that on MX9-058 banquets segue into orgies and Sweet Jesus, Buster doesn't even know where to look once everyone starts getting naked. When John leans into kiss him, Buster really wishes Ronon had picked a different week to break his arm, but then again, ten minutes later when John's bent him over a table, Buster thinks Ronon's timing was perfect.


	5. Life in Atlantis -- Secret Kinks

"Is this a present for someone? Something your sister sent you for the black market?" John looks at the bottom of the bottle of nail polish. "Ruby Pumps. Is that a friend of Dorothy reference?"

"No, no and, hadn't thought of that, but no." Buster keeps his eyes on his laptop as John comes out of the bathroom with the bottle of nail polish in his hand. "That's mine."

"Ha ha," John says.

"Yeah, I'm really funny." Buster's still staring at the screen, but he's not typing anything. In fact, his big hands are clenched in his lap and fuck, John better get his shit together, because Buster's not careless. If he left a bottle of nail polish on the bathroom counter, he's trying to tell John something.

"Sorry," John mutters. "It was just...look, do you want to talk about it?"

"What's to talk about? I like wearing nail polish." Buster sighs and closes his laptop. "It's pretty, okay? I'm a fucking Marine and we don't do much pretty. Or any, really."

"Is there...is this all?"

"What? Oh, you mean do I wear makeup or, what, panties? Nope. Just the nail polish."

John looks at the bottle in his hand. "My wife never wore anything this sparkly."

"Go big or go home," Buster says. When John glances at him, Buster's got a little smile on his face. "You should see the blue glitter I have. And there's a pink with multi colored glitter. Basically, I'm a magpie."

"Bright shiny objects?"

"Yeah."

"Is it a thing?" John rubs the back of his neck. "God, I suck at this. Is it a turn on? Or just something you do because you like the way it looks."

"It's...." After a moment, Buster shakes his head. "I'm not any better at this than you." He puts the laptop aside and bends down. "You wanna see?" Before John can answer Buster pulls his socks off and puts his feet on the coffee table.

John's never paid much attention to Buster's feet, but they're pretty nice as feet go. Well, of course they are; if Buster has a physical flaw, John has yet to find it. Now, however, his attention is on Buster's toenails. Buster's red, shiny, glittery toenails. The red is shockingly bright against Buster's pale skin and John's a little surprised at how good it looks.

"You ever do your fingernails?" he asks.

"Not very often. A little too dangerous." He looks at the bottle in John's hand. "Then again, I'm a Marine and we're all about danger."

Buster might not do it very often, but he sure looks like he knows what he's doing. John knows it takes time; he drags out his own laptop and catches up on paperwork. In between coats, Buster reads something on his iPad, probably one of his stupid horror novels--seriously isn't life in Pegasus scary enough as it is?

"So," Buster finally says, spreading his fingers out. "What do you think?"

"I see what you mean by pretty," John says. "It's different than on your toes. I like the contrast between your hands and that...sort of femme fatale red."

Buster looks surprised. "Yeah," he says. "That's it exactly." He looks down at his hands and John knows exactly what he's thinking. Buster's hands are big and they're nicked and scarred--soldier's hands.

With a slight shake of his head, Buster reaches out and rests his hand on the front of John's BDU pants. "You want me to?"

"Yeah," John says hoarsely.

And yeah, Buster might have soldier's hands, but he also gives one hell of a handjob. Not, John thinks, that those two things are mutually exclusive. Watching Buster jerk him off is always hot, but the nail polish makes it even better. It's almost like it's someone else's hand, but not really because it's still Buster sitting next to him.

"You like it?" Buster's nuzzling John's neck. "You know how you asked if it's a kink? It totally is. When I know it's safe, I do my fingernails and jerk off, just like what I'm doing to you."

"It's fucking hot," John says. He's already breathless and squirming and when Buster nips at his neck, his hips buck up and he shoves his dick into Buster's hand. "Want see you...do yourself."

"Yeah, okay." Buster bites John's neck a little harder this time.

It only takes another minute or two; John makes a real effort to keep his eyes open and wow, watching Buster's nails get even slicker looking when John comes all over them is.... 

Well, John kind of wishes he could get it up again.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he mutters as he watches Buster lick his fingers. "You're trying to kill me."

"Uh huh." Buster licks at his last nail. "I'm the Nail Polish Killer. All they'll find is your body and a bottle of Ruby Pumps."


	6. Life in Atlantis -- Meet the Family

Dave's always known about John being gay, but the last person he expects John to bring home is this...this fresh-faced, apple-cheeked kid who has a buzz cut and calls Dave "sir" at least three times before John tells him to cut it the fuck out. 

"Jesus," Dave says to John once they're alone. "Does he even belong in this century? He's like Captain America. And he's what? Twelve?"

"Twenty-five," John says with a little smirk. "And let me tell you, he can go all fucking night long."

Dave immediately heads for the liquor cabinet, although really, there isn't enough scotch in the world.

_Later that same week...._

"Let me know, when you get tired of him," Samantha mutters to Buster as she watches John talk about barbecuing with their dad. "Because, seriously...damn."


	7. Life in Atlantis -- Sex Pollen

Because his life--ever since coming to Atlantis--is like that, Buster's the only member of AR-13 affected by the spores on P94-109. Because life in Pegasus is life in Pegasus, Dr. Imari knows to shoot him with her Wraith stunner.

"My back is fucking killing me," John says three hours after he's locked the door of his quarters behind the two of them. "And I'm getting really dehydrated."

"Stop bitching," Buster says, and yeah, he's feeling all weird and hot and breathless again. "And get your ass over here."


	8. The One Where John's Not a Nice Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a stand alone for the Dark!Fic trope--it's not a Devil!Verse fic, though.

John loves Marines. They're always so sure of themselves, which makes it fun, almost too much fun, to watch them fall apart. He can't help smiling a little as he leans in the gym doorway and watches Lt. Posey work out. Posey's handsome face is pink with exertion and his tags clink a little as they move against his sweat damp t-shirt and, goddamn, if he looks this good working out.... 

John can hardly wait to see him crawl.


	9. Moving In Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another stand-alone, this time in a universe where Atlantis lost touch with Earth.

The day they moved in together, Buster packed away all his old Marine uniforms. "You can't be a Marine and live with a guy?" John asked, not quite sure what to make of the gesture. They'd been together for four years and were, as Rodney put it, the worst kept secret in the entire Pegasus Galaxy. John had never gotten the idea that Buster was ashamed of him or even of being gay. Now, though, he wasn't sure.

"No, it's not like that," Buster said as he zipped up the duffel bag. "I can't be a Marine at all. Any more than you can be Air Force. When was the last time you wore a proper flight suit or even your blue sweater? It's time to let it go."

He shoved the bag into the back of the closet and then walked over to John. "And anyway, I like the ADF's fraternization rules a lot more than the Corps' or the Air Force's." Reaching up, he rested his hand on John's arm, right on John's Atlantis Defense Force patch.

"We don't have any fraternization rules."

Buster gave John that look that said he thought his commanding officer was being an idiot only he was too polite to say so. "Exactly."

And that, John realized later, was the moment he finally laid Earth and the past to rest--Atlantis was well and truly home now. With a smile, he leaned in and kissed Buster.


	10. Two Guys Walk Into a Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stand alone for the crossover prompt--SGA meets Baseball RPF

So, two guys walk into a bar. But the thing is, Buster really does think it's a joke and one in poor taste at that. Matt said he'd meet him in this bar and then he'd called and Hartley was sick and then this guy started hitting on Buster. Buster isn't at all egotistical but can there really be anyone in San Francisco who doesn't know who he is? But the guy's hot and Buster's had just enough bourbon to take the incredibly stupid risk of going off to the guy's hotel room. Turns out it's not a joke; the guy--John--really doesn't know who Buster is. So when he asks what Buster does Buster just shrugs and says "I play a little ball" and John admits that he's in the Air Force and things make more sense because maybe he's been deployed somewhere in the Middle East. Also, he probably has as much to lose as Buster if anyone finds out he's gay.

"Buster Posey," John says as Buster wakes up the next morning. John's looking at him over the top of an iPad. "You play a little ball." He turns the iPad and there's Buster's wikipedia article, with that stupid fucking picture of Buster screwing around during batting practice. Didn't Pence say he was going to edit that at some point?

"Yeah, well...." Buster heads for the bathroom. "That's why I was so cautious."

John's stuff is all over the counter--Jesus, the guy uses as much, if not more, hair product as Crawford. Buster moves some of it aside and... "Hey, what's this thing with the lights?" Buster calls out. "It's cool."

"Holy fuck," John says from the bathroom door. He's staring at Buster and the thing in Buster's hand. "It's...um...you guys playing today?"

Buster nods. "Night game."

"Yeah well," John says. Buster stares at him in shock as John points a very odd looking gun thing at him. "You might be a little late." There's a whine and just before everything goes back, Buster hears John mutter "oh God, I'm in so much fucking trouble."


	11. The Gladiator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stand alone historical AU piece.

"That one," Ioannes says, looking down into the training arena. "Tell me about that one."

"Sir has excellent taste," the dealer says. "He's part of a recent shipment from Britannia. Trained, of course. I wouldn't dream of selling untrained merchandise."

Ioannes rolls his eyes a little. Slave dealers are all so...oily. "Tell me about him."

"His name's some sort of barbarian gibberish but he's good with a cudgel, so we started calling him the Head Buster or just Buster."

"Original," Ioannes says dryly.

"Thank you, Sir. He's also more than adequate at fighting in heavy armor, but he's too large to be any good with a trident and net."

"Doesn't matter," Ioannes says. "I want him as a bodyguard."

"But, Sir, we have bodyguards. If that's what you want, I can show you several excellent ones."

"No. I want him." Ioannes sees no reason to explain that the less his bodyguard knows about Roman politics, the better. Ioannes himself might be apolitical but that's more than he can say for his brother. _I need someone loyal to me alone. Someone who owes me._

"You can leave," he tells the gladiator later. "You've been freed, do you understand? Or...."

"Or?" 

"Or you can stay and watch my back. I pay my people well and...." He pauses and looks Buster over.

Buster smiles. "Just your back?" he asks in slow, careful Latin. "Or the rest of you too?"

"Yes," Ioannes says. "I think you'll do."


	12. Well this is Weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stand alone set in a Magical AU.

"You're a what?"

"Never mind," John says, ducking his head. Coming out to his new boyfriend was clearly a mistake. "Just forget I even said anything."

"How am I supposed to do that? You just told that you're a _were-otter_." Buster pauses and tilts his head a little, like he's trying to imagine it. "You must be a big damn otter. With big damn claws."

"Oh yeah, I'm really fucking fierce. Except for the part where I spend most of four days a month floating around on my back eating clams." John sighs. "I'm cute, okay? A giant, cute, otter. It kinda sucks."

"Is it really that bad? Because taking four days off to float around in the ocean sounds like fun to me." 

"Well yeah, that part's great, but my best friend is a pudgy, middle-aged scientist and he turns into a fucking bear. A kinda grumpy bear, but still..he's a bear and I'm an otter. He gives me so much shit about it."

"Sorry I asked." Buster slides an arm around John's waist. 

"Nah, it's okay. If we're gonna be a thing, you'd know sooner or later. I just wish I were something more impressive." And to his surprise, John wants to this to be a thing, even though Buster's going for his Masters in Linguistics at UCSB and John's a beach bum. Even though Buster's twenty years younger than John and they shouldn't have a damn thing in common. Buster doesn't even surf and he prefers baseball to football and he likes to cook instead of ordering pizza every other night.

Somehow, though, they fit. John managed to go up north the last two times he changed, but that's going to get old real soon and anyway, Buster's not stupid. 

"I should...I've been meaning to tell you...I'm," Buster pulls away and leans back against the headboard. His face is pink and he's looking down at his hands. "I'mawitch," he finally says.

It takes John a minute to figure it out and then he frowns a little. "You mean a magician, right?"

"Nope, I meant witch. Magicians use ceremonial magic and they take their power from the Aether and, sometimes, from life energy. Most of my power comes from nature and my rituals are...I guess you could say they're looser and less grand."

"Well, what's wrong with that?" John's never known anyone who uses magic but it sounds kind of cool to him,

"Ninety-nine percent of witches are female. All the witches in my family are women--my aunt, my Gran and her mother, my fourteen year old cousin." He sighs. "Nothing really wrong with it; there are other male witches in the world. It's just...it's like your friend--Dr. McKay, right?" John nods.

"I get teased. A lot. It's good natured kidding, but still, it gets fucking old." 

"Yeah, I know what you mean." John turns and looks at him. "Do you know any cleaning spells?"

"Depends," Buster says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You gonna bring me some abalone next month?"

"Stick with me baby, and I'll keep you in clams for life."

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're interested, the meme looked like this and Hedgerose on tumblr asked for Buster Posey/John Sheppard.
>
>> Put a ship in my ask and I will tell you a bit about how each of the following scenarios would go down for them:
>> 
>> Fake dating  
> Bodyswap  
> Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it  
> Dark!fic  
> Secret kinks  
> Their first kiss  
> Meeting the parents  
> Moving in together  
> A crossover of my choice  
> An au of my choice  
> If you like, another trope/scenario of your choice  
> 
> 
> I cheated on meeting the parents because the idea of Dave and Samantha meeting their brothers' partners was just too tempting.


End file.
